prbls_1

A collection of sweat on my left eybrow tilted, causing a drop to run into the corner of my eye. I let out a grunt and wiped the liquid away with my wrist. Trying to remember the last time I was handling the bars of my bicycle made me feel like a grandpa with alzheimers playing chess. My quads even felt like ancient machineries reviving after still decades of moss and cold mold.

At least, what I got to see with my spare eye was all worth it. The sun was smiling and the white clouds were dancing and the trees were trying to relieve me with their broad roofs of green and fruits of red, in the end failing to cover the sizzling asphalt I was surfing on. But this time it wasn’t the nature. It didn’t even bother me one bit. In the distance on the straight road I saw another bicycle, painted with smiling yellow, working his way up a hill, or to me, floating in spite of physical laws.

And on that bike, there was a figure I couldn’t help myself but to follow.

Suddenly, something jumped in my chest area, and my brain sent a flash of signals to my ancient machineries to push the pedals harder to catch up, to speed up, to step up.

Even though my road was still flat, I was struggling to increase my tempo. Seeing the yellow bike get smaller and smaller, I got more frustrated, and I kept pushing harder, my legs felt like stone crumbling down to dust. My throat dried because of how hard I was wheezing, I even wasn’t even looking straight forward anymore, instead my head was hanging down, one eye screwed up by the sweat and the other almost closed as well, only seeing gray shades and white stripes of the asphalt road benath me.

Huff, huff, huff-

In the midst of wearing out my body drastically, there was a weird calmness inside my head, a room that echoes voices, asking, ‚Why? Why make the effort? Just rest for a tiny bit and maybe catch up later?‘, and I knew the answer but I was too focused on kicking the pedals that I couldn’t answer back. Slowly, new waves of resistance at my feet kept flooding me- it seemed like I reached the hill. The burning was unbearable and my body was getting weaker with every circular push and my lungs hungrily devoured all of the 21 percent oxygen that was available in the air, screaming and crying for more like a greedy child.
But I kept going on. I definitely was a lot slower than before, but the option to stop was sounded more like killing myself than actually killing myself due to physical exhaustion. But I knew that’s what I wanted. The flesh was reaching its limits and the sensation of a bomb about to burst was painfully real.

As I started to lose balance while my movement slowed , almost falling back the hill, faintly, I heard something whisper. No, it wasn’t a whisper, it was a call.
In a blink, feeling more like a
whole two minutes I remembered.
What happened next was something I would never say, in true honest words, was me.
My stomach tightened and both of my eyes stared open, i could nearly feel fire coming out of them as my legs straightened and raised me from my seat. I let out the loudest scream of my life, it felt like a lions roar and started to push to my utmost limits. I was looking at the top, at the blue skies, at heaven. And before I realized it, I broke down at the very top of the hill. I landed ond something refreshing, which turned out to be freshly cut grass.

I didn’t know how long I was laying there before a voice said,

‚You sure took your time.‘

The chill that went down my spine that was extremely intense and I could sense something in my worn out body that soothed it calmly.

‚I know, I was kinda getting lost along the way‘, I tried to respond with my hoarse voice. I could hear birds chirping in the distance, and the breeze that went over me felt like true peace. I really wanted to move my head to see, but I was paralyzed by the pain and exhaustion, at least I was getting enough rest for my lungs to calm down, even though the asthma made it hard to catch full breaths.

‚Yeah, but I am glad you made it.‘
Again, a chill, but now with a warmth inside of my heart that made my nose scrunch and made me feel like crying. It definitely was the voice that called me back when I was about to faint. I smiled and as I was about to tear up I said,

‚I did this because of you. And with only you I was able to. I asked myself so many times why-‚

‚You didn’t ask yourself, that was somebody else. He is not going to challenge you any longer, I am here now.‘

And there I went sprinkling the grass with my tears, mixed with some last sweat. I tried to keep it down so that it wouldn’t be noticed, but it was of no use. In every sentence I heard with my ears I could feel the same things I felt so long inside of my heart. With the last energy i had left I lifted up my head, and tried to look the way the voice came from. I could see the bike in that smiling yellow, leaning against a big old tree, underneath his roof I was resting in the shade. And by the roots I could make out something in silky white, maybe a dress. My head fell down on its own, and before I was passed out, I said,
‚You know, I have always-‚

‚I know. Me too.‘

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